The Counseling Process
Basic Premise: Everyone has a tendency to repeat or perpetuate aspects of significant unresolved conflicts and losses. We can’t avoid loss or conflict; it is a part of our human experience. These experiences cause us pain and therefore become significant events in our lives that we will repeat or perpetuate unless they are resolved. The more painful the event the more significant it is in terms of its power and impact on our life. Because of the pain, we attempt to protect ourselves from feeling the pain by developing a system of defenses to avoid feeling the pain. These defenses of protection become the unhealthy ways of creating distance in relating to our self, and our self to others. This results in more pain.
Resolving the painful events in our lives can be broken down into three parts.
1. Awareness: To identify, engage, support, and validate the painful feelings associated with the significant life experiences.
2. Assessing Safety: To gain insight into the defenses, the unhealthy patterns of thought, beliefs, and behaviors surrounding the way we relate to self and others that perpetuate and repeat the pain.
3. To take risks identifying and adopting new attitudes and ways of relating and coping.